september 13th, 2009

another night lying in my bed wishing you never had to leave. 

whispering words no one else had ever heard. 

knowing we were best friends, 

but wishing for more. 

we talked, you held me. 

you told me you wished you could stay,

so do. 

you didn't even want to think about her, 

so dont. 

that night i woke up three times,

forgeting you have left. 

when i remembered, it stung.

and then  i smiled. 

you left me bruised. 

i woke up hurting. 

i loved it. 

"got pink and black and blue for you" 

fuck it.

city and colour

if you were to leave, and fulfill someone elses dream. 

i think i might totally be lost. 

i wish i could do better by you, 

cause thats what you deserve.

and when you cry,  

a piece of my whole dies, 

knowing that i may have been the cause. 

please know that im yours to keep,

my beautiful girl. 

sleepless

close to midnight, sleep is out of the question. heart racing, even though it is over. your decision is clear, but my feelings are adamant. every time i look up, i feel abased. tortured, teased, humiliated, empty. i pour my heart out to you, you elicit no response. or at least not the response im reaching for. 

broken hearted i try and deter myself from running directly back. but everyone knows, it is impossible to abate love. 

(idk if abate works there.. but the meaning is understood no doubt) 

trophy

drown me. suffocate  me. freeze me. kill me. 

just tell me the truth. 

because i dont believe you, when you say i mean nothing. 

when you say you only sort of care. 

when you look for someone to fill my place, and you know in your heart i mean so much more.

why cant you just look me in the face and say it. i know you mean it. i know you were dying with out me. i know im your lifeline. i know that i want to sit in your arms and cry. and i want you to hear me. and i want you to love me.  and i want you around. and i only cry because of you. 

and i know you feel the same. you must. 

if we werent in love, if this wasn't supposed to be, then why cant we stop? 

sabrina

ill always think of you that way.

 

billie.

my heart is reaching. wishing. dreaming. i feel so lonely. i want to feel like a classic. i want to sit in a small cafe, the park across the way. the snow falling. looking into your eyes. i want to be held. i want to cry in someones arms. i want to be alive